What is mindful parenting?
Picture this. You are stringing popcorn with your toddler, getting ready to decorate your Christmas tree. We all know that stringing popcorn isn’t really *that fun* and can be quite tedious. You’ve been stringing the popcorn for almost 45 minutes and your toddler accidentally steps on the string, cracking all of your hard work into pieces. I’m going to let you in on a secret…this is a true story! When I was about 3 years old, I was stringing popcorn with my parents and little old me stepped on the string. At the time, I didn’t think it was a big deal. However, I will never forget the angry screams that came from my father after this had happened.
Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash
You may be thinking…okay, but how is that mindful parenting? It’s not. This is just an example of how reactive we can be as parents, even in situations that don’t really hold much significance in our lives. However, negative reactions such as the one I just shared are memories that will hold a front-row seat in your child’s memories for the rest of their lives. This may not be an example of mindful parenting, but it is an example of when mindful parenting strategies can be useful in overwhelming parenting moments.
So, what is mindful parenting? Historically, there are five dimensions to mindful parenting; (a) listening with full attention, (b) nonjudgmental acceptance, (c) parent self-regulation, (d) emotional awareness, and (e) compassion. However, Raising Mindful Minis has come up with a map, outlining a more extensive view on how we can parent mindfully. I call it the mindful parenting map. The mindful parenting map dives into the science of how our brains function throughout human development and allows us to truly reflect on the conditioning our current parenting practices have on us. The map includes the following sections; formation, connection, co-regulation, non-judgemental acceptance, compassion, gratitude, patience through conflict, and authenticity.
Raising Mindful Minis Mindful Parenting Map
Mindful parenting is not solely based on how the parent parents their child. Instead, we must look at parenting from a different perspective. Mindful parenting practices are both intrapersonal and interpersonal processes. Intrapersonal parenting means the parent must do serious inner work within themselves in order to create an intentional and authentic mindful parenting practice. Therefore, starting with self-reflection and deep inner work as a parent is step one of the mindful parenting map. Without awareness and true understanding of who we are as parents and why we react in such ways, we have nothing to practice. The first section of my mindful parenting map tackles the key concepts of mindful parenting, including the acknowledgment of generational patterns and the foundations of human development. This allows us to truly understand the difference between an adult's brain vs. a child's brain and how drastically different our executive functioning is throughout the lifespan. Interpersonal parenting consists of practices between parent and child. Interpersonal processes involve the inclusion amongst the entire family system, allowing the child to engage in mindful parenting practices too. To put it simply, kids want to be seen as equals and they are absolutely entitled to be included in the parenting process. You may have found yourself answering your child’s “But why mommy?” with a “Because I said so”. Parenting with an interpersonal approach means giving your child clear communication to answer the “why” questions. Because remember, this world is still so new to them. Simply, children can not comprehend on the same level that you and I can. With each mindful parenting section, we need to make sure we are acknowledging both processes.
Photo by Luemen Rutkowski on Unsplash
Mindful parenting is not something you can master overnight. Mindful parenting is an approach you must continue to water and give light to. We must grow through what we go through. Mindful parenting is a behavior change we must make within ourselves and stay committed to. It is not a process we can learn alone. My mindful parenting map was created to outline the key mindful parenting strategies to continue growing a deeper understanding of how you too, can cultivate a calm, connected, and authentic home for your family.