Parenting In and Outs of 2024
As we ring in the new year, we find ourselves reflecting on our previous year; what went well, what did not go well, and what we want to bring into the new year ahead. We often set goals for ourselves. And if we are being honest, we may put in the work to obtain our goals for a month and as life gets busier, we rear off the path of success and find ourselves in the same cycle we are accustomed to. So what will you do differently this year? How will you hold yourself accountable in the new year? Let’s take a look at the ins and outs of the new year; mindful parenting edition.
IN:
Taking care of yourself: Yes, mama, take care of yourself too. Before my daughter was born, I had perfected my self-care routine. I took weekly baths, practiced yoga daily, and made sure to take good care of my body. As I transitioned into motherhood, I quickly began to put all of my energy into caring for my daughter, not leaving any energy for myself. It’s easier said than done, especially in the first couple of years, but there becomes a point where you HAVE to, if not for yourself, for your child. When you stop giving yourself the proper care, you are modeling that taking care of yourself does not need to be a priority. Teaching our children to take care of our physical and mental health will create healthier generations to come.
Being physically present with your kids: Yes, that means putting down the phone. You can be next to your child as they play, but if you are preoccupied, you aren't really there. Give your children magical memories. This doesn’t mean fancy vacations, going out to eat often, or constantly filling your schedules. Set aside 15-20 minutes a day to be fully present with your children. Give them the autonomy to decide what you will do together. You don’t have to always play with your kids. But if you aren’t able to be fully present, your relationship will likely involve disconnect in the future.
OUT
Letting go of unhealthy generational patterns: Whatever this may look like for you, let it go. When working through my mindful parenting map, the first section, formation, includes bringing our awareness to patterns that we deem as unhealthy. For example, you may notice when your stress response kicks in, even if it is unrelated to parenting, you may become irritable with your child. When you are irritable and unable to manage your stress response, you may find yourself yelling at your child and feeling the guilt of it afterward. This year, focus on bringing your awareness to unhealthy patterns that may be consuming your parenting dynamic.
Endlessly filling up your schedule: Yesterday, we spent a day at home together with nothing to do. Something we don’t do very often and if I were to guess, you probably don’t either. We live in a very busy world, constantly moving and having to “be somewhere”. We teach our children that we live in a fast-paced world and therefore, they have to be speedy and get out of the door. I decided to take the weekend with my family to do *nothing*. Sure, I could have planned play dates, trips to the park, or a visit with family, but we were next-level exhausted and just wanted time for the three of us. So what did we do? We watched movies at home, built a snowman in the backyard, and made hot cocoa after sledding in the backyard. I couldn’t help but reflect on this experience together and thought to myself, these are the kind of memories that matter. These are the memories we will never forget.